The Seed of Hope

Reminiscing

Seems like I’ve spent the last few weeks reminiscing about the past…

Two weeks ago I was celebrating my fifty-eighth birthday, so I had a lot to reminisce about. Hey, a lot of water flows over the dam in fifty-eight years, you know? (What are you laughing at? Either you’ve already celebrated fifty-eight, or you’re prayin’ that you’ll make it that long!)

Three days ago I attended the 1970 Senior Class of John Carroll Catholic High School’s 40^th Reunion. Forty Years!  I have to tell you for some reason, celebrating my fifty-eighth birthday didn’t hit me near as much as the realization that it has been forty years since I was a graduating high school Senior with my sights set on conquering the world. Wow.

As it turned out, I had a hard time conquering my own little world, much less the world. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve given up hope. Oh I don’t really want to conquer the world, but I do want achieve whatever it is that God put me here for. It seems as though I’m getting a late start on doing that, but as they say, “It’s better late than never.”…

So we had this small gathering of long-lost friends from various parts of the country. Our planning committee, of which I was a member, had suspected that the turnout might be light for several reasons, including, but not limited to, apathy, the economy, previous commitments, and work schedules.

Out of a graduating class of just over two hundred, around fifty actually made it to the reunion. Spouses, our Principal, and a handful of teachers brought that number to just over seventy in attendance. Sadly, ten of our former classmates weren’t with us because their time in this world had passed.

The facility that we had rented for the evening became filled the sounds of laughter and fellowship; old friends recalling good times from long ago. I can’t tell you how many times I heard stories that began with “Do you remember when….” And I lost count of the hugs and handshakes that I gave, and received.

At one point in the evening I stood alone in the back of the room, surveying the gathering of my old friends. I was looking at them, but I wasn’t really looking at them. You see, I was trying to look deeper than the smiles that were on their faces.  Not that I could see it on their hearts and in their minds, but I was wondering how many of my old friends had achieved their own version of “conquering the world?” I was also wondering how many of them had, much like myself, felt the sting of falling short of making the dreams come true?

In what seemed to be the blink of an eye, the months of planning and anticipation came to an end, and the reunion was over. (In some way, I likened the process to what women go through when they’re planning a wedding.)

During the drive home, I wondered if it would be another ten years before I would see many of my old friends again. And quite frankly, I wondered how many more of us would be added to the list of the “dearly departed."

I also came away with two thoughts that have been with me ever since…

Many of my classmates were eagerly talking about their anticipated retirement, and what they were gonna do when they didn’t have to work. If I recall correctly, a couple of them have already retired.

As I listened to their plans, I was thinking about how far away I am from retirement. It’s not really about money. My wife Jackie and I have always lived fairly “close-to-the-vest”, opting for a moderate approach in what we’ve driven, where we’ve eaten, and where we’ve vacationed. We’ve never felt like we were sacrificing anything in the choices that we made, because what was most important was our relationship.

The result of those choices is that while we’re certainly not wealthy, retirement in a few years isn’t out of the question.

But here’s the thing: I don’t want to retire! Oh, I can see Jackie and me stepping away from our hair salon here in Birmingham one day, or at least having a less active role in the day-to-day operations. Collectively, the two of us have been in the salon industry for over sixty years, Jackie being “behind-the-chair”, and me being everywhere else. As they say, all good things come to an end.

What I cannot envision is stepping away from working for God. Yeah, I know that writing The Seed of Hope, or sharing God’s Word with people, or offering counsel and prayer in the prayer room in our salon isn’t a real job. But you see, I’ve never had the passion or desire to do anything in life the way that I live to serve God, in any way that I can. Every day I ask Him to open doors for me to serve Him. Every day.

It’s been just over four years since I was born again and was filled with the fire of the Holy Spirit. A couple of my friends used to laugh at my child-like exuberance for God, informing me that I was a newborn Christian, and assuring me that the passion for Him that consumed me would die down in time.

Well, guess what? It hasn’t happened yet, and I pray that it never will.

My other thought centered on change.

As I stood in the back of that room surveying the scene, I couldn’t help but notice the physical changes that all of us had gone through. I chuckled to myself as I realized that many of my friends looked exactly as their parents had when we were in school together! I hadn’t seen some of these people since graduation, and to see them again, not as teenagers, but as the next generation to be the oldest, was a bit unsettling.

But it was the inner-change that I sensed in my friends, rather than the change that I saw in their appearance, that impacted me the most. Life, and time, had left their marks. Our circle of friends had, individually, collectively, and for various reasons, changed. We had grown up.

And then, as is so often the case, my thoughts turned to God. And my mind was filled with an explosion of thoughts that I had grown older, and that so had my friends, and that some of us had died, and that we were no longer kids, and that our youthful innocence was but a fading memory, and that some dreams were given up on or forgotten years ago, and that things change, and that we change, and that the world around us changes every day, and that all good things come to an end, and that change is inevitable…

EXCEPT when it comes to God.

I realized that God never changes. It took me years to realize that it was my perception of Him that changed as I grew older, and not Him. He’s the same God that He was when I was a high school senior in 1970 at the tender age of seventeen, and at the not-so-tender age of fifty-eight. He is the same God that created the heavens and the earth, and the same God that spoke to Moses, and the same God that my great-grandparents, and my grandparents, and my parents, and now my children and grand-children, pray to and receive blessings from. The same God then, and the same God now.

In a world that’s constantly changing, that’s in such a state of turmoil and disarray, and that’s so filled with uncertainty, there is one constant that never changes: God. You need stability and hope for tomorrow in your life? Turn to God.

I leave you with the chorus from the song Everlasting God, by Glenn Packiam.

You never change, You’re still the same; You are the everlasting God. You will remain, after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed. Everlasting God.   

Overwhelmed

For You and You alone

Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing

For the world You love

Your will be done, let Your will be done in me

In Your presence, in Your power

Awakening

For this moment, for this hour

Awakening

Like the rising sun that shines

From the darkness comes a light

I hear Your voice and this is my

Awakening

Awakening ©Chris Tomlin

Yesterday was my fifty-eighth birthday. Fifty-eight. Wow. It seems like it was only couple of years ago that my wife Jackie threw a surprise Fiftieth Birthday Party for me. Yet it seems like it was a lifetime ago. Come to think of it, everything that came before my spiritual awakening a few years ago seems like a lifetime ago. Perhaps that’s because I was a different man, living a different life.

I hadn’t been born again eight years ago, when Jackie surprised me with that gathering of my family and close friends. I didn’t know God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit back then. Oh, I knew who they were, but I certainly didn’t know them, didn’t know them at all. I didn’t know how very different my life could be, how different it would be, with God at the center of my universe.

I spent the better part of the yesterday reflecting on many of the days, weeks, and months, that were the components of my first fifty-eight years. I revisited many of the “Kodak Moments” that have been burned indelibly into my mind’s eye. Most of them were good, but of course, many of them were painful to recall.

I found myself reflecting on the two lives that I’ve lived. My first life obviously began with my birth, on September 27, 1952. My second life began on August 9, 2006, which was the day that I committed my life to being a soldier of Christ.

It was during my reflections on my second life that I found myself completely overwhelmed by God’s presence, and by what He has done in me, and with me, since that day in August. Each time that I made an attempt to write this post, I was overcome with emotions, not because of the way my life used to be, but because of the life that I’m living today. I’m not too proud to tell you that I spent most of the day in tears, overwhelmed with gratitude for God’s goodness, and overwhelmed with my life.

Awakening

My awakening began, not on the day that I was born again in August of 2006, but one year earlier, in August of 2005. God had given me the courage to make some major changes in our lives (See A Seed was Planted on the home page), and Jackie had graciously agreed to go along with my plans.

At the time, I didn’t realize that my courage was a gift from God. I figured that my commitment to change was the result having been miserable in our business for sixteen years, and that my actions were the direct result of years of desperation and a life with no hope for a better tomorrow. I didn’t know where my newly found bravery came from, but I was glad to have it.

During the course of the next few months I became increasingly aware of the fact that God was the source of my courage, and of my strength, and that He had been all along. It had been God, and not Sam Maniscalco, that had gotten me through alcohol, and cocaine, and smoking, and a broken marriage. I had never given Him the credit for what He’d carried me through. What’s worse was that I’d never really thanked Him for it.

My prayers took on a new purpose. No longer was I praying to God simply for Him to supply me with my needs. I found myself offering prayers of gratitude for all that He’d done. And I found myself inviting Him into not only my heart, but into my life. And that’s all it took. I gave Him (this) much space in my heart, and He moved in.

It’s kind of funny, the way that He worked in me. No sooner had I come to the realization that He was my provider that was I filled with both the desire and the courage to share the news with anyone who would listen!

Looking back on it now, I realize that by the time that I was born again several months later, I was already on fire for God. I couldn’t know enough about Him, or get enough of Him, or feel enough of His presence. Still can’t. I pray that I never will, or that I’ll ever want to.

Susie

Yesterday I received a call from Susie, a dear friend, an amazing Christian woman, and fellow blogger. Susie was calling to extend birthday greetings and to get “caught up” (it had been a while since we’d spoken).  

Well, wouldn’t you just know it? I started bawling right in the middle of our conversation! I tried to explain to Susie that I was crying, not because something was wrong, but because everything was so right! I also informed her of my futile attempts to get beyond my tears and emotions so that I might write this post. Through my tears, I laughingly told Susie that while I had an idea of what I wanted to write about, I didn’t know how to express what I wanted to say. I mean, how do you write something meaningful about being overcome with emotion? I remember saying to Susie, “I don’t know if I’m writing this one for everyone else, or just for me.”

We ended our chat, and as I hung up the phone I thought about the selfishness and self-centeredness of the statement that I’d made to Susie. I actually regretted having said it.

You see, I never write for myself. I write for God. And I write with the hope and prayer that something I share with you will make even a small difference in your life.

I’m gonna close this post with my birthday prayer of gratitude.

Father, I thank You for giving me not only this day, but for blessing me with such an amazing life. I thank You for taking me, a man battered, broken, and without hope, and lifting me up to heights that I never dreamed possible. I thank You for giving me a devoted wife, for surrounding me with an incredible group of family and friends. I thank You for allowing me to serve You, and for giving me the opportunity to share what’s on my heart with others. I thank You for every one of my fifty-eight birthdays, none of which has been better than this one; not because of gifts, or possessions, or anything other than Your overwhelming presence in my life. I thank You for the gifts of Your Spirit, which You supply me with daily. I thank You for my salvation, which was made possible by the gift of Your Son. I thank You for being the amazing, life-giving God that You are. I thank you for loving me. I thank You for allowing me to be.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen and Amen.

"S" Nuggets

Yesterday morning I had the absolute honor of speaking to a group of ministry students at Church of The Highlands here in Birmingham. These amazing young people, ranging in age eighteen to twenty-four, are on fire for God, and many of them will go on to be Christian leaders in churches and private organizations throughout the country, or perhaps the world. It’s always  been a blessing for me to be in their presence, and to be given the opportunity to share my heart with them made it even better.

I met with Hayes Kearbey (one of the directors of the program) on Sunday to discuss his expectations for my presentation. Ideally, I would have about forty-five minutes to share my “God story” with them. This would include the first fifty-two years of my life before I was born again, and of course, the amazing things that God has done in my life during the five years since.

Hayes also wanted me to give them a “life-lesson,” that is, something that each of them could use to make their walk with God a little better.

Absolute PANIC!!! 

was my initial reaction to Hayes’ request. Of course I didn’t tell him that! I was nodding my head in agreement, but that little voice in the back of my mind was screaming “He wants you to teach them something! He’s asking you to be a teacher! You’re no teacher! Back out now, while you can, you fool!”

Well, I obviously didn’t back out. You see there, was another little voice in the back of my mind, offering me encouragement and assuring me that everything would be okay. “You know that God is gonna give you a message for those kids. He’s given you over a hundred ideas for The Seed of Hope in the last couple of years. Why would you possibly think that you can’t do this, or that you won’t have anything to say? Trust in Him.”

I agreed to be at church the next morning at eight o’clock for thirty minutes of praise and worship. When that was done, I would talk to the group.

Calm

I woke up yesterday morning with an uncanny sense of calmness. I knew that everything was gonna be fine, because God had given me this opportunity for a reason. It was part of His plan for me to be in front of the group of young adults, and I was filled with gratitude and peace. And I knew what I was going to say…

I already knew my story of salvation. I’ve shared it more times than I can remember, and though it’s always the same, it’s always a little different. You see, each time that I recount what God has done in my life, I realize some truth, some “nugget,” that I’ve never thought of before. And in doing so, I find yet another reason to be grateful to God.

I also knew my message as a teacher; what I would give to the students to take with them long after my voice fell silent. God had given that to me as well, in epiphanies, in “aha moments,” that I’ve had in the last couple of years. They’re not profound insights. I feel quite sure that someone has previously written or spoken about each of them at some point in time. In fact, I’ve written about each and every one of them at various times on this page, but not as a compilation of what I do each day to stay in touch with God, and to serve Him.

Nuggets

I humbly submit to you six of my personal “nuggets.” I didn’t really plan it this way, but in what has become a Church of The Highlands trademark, each of them begins with the same letter.

·         Start your day with God. The very first thing that I do when come to consciousness each morning is thank God for giving me another day. His Name is the first thought that enters my mind every morning.

·         Spend time with Him and in His Word. I cannot stress enough the need to spend at least a few minutes a day alone with God in prayer or in meditation. Your outlook on your daily life and on yourself will change if you’ll try this. Also try to spend a few minutes each day reading the Bible. Look, until a few years ago I never read the Bible at all. As a matter of fact, I’d run from the Bible and/or anyone quoting or carrying one. At the suggestion of a very good friend (thanks Annie) I began turning to the Word for guidance, and as source of knowledge about God and His teachings. When the Bible becomes, not just a book, but the living Word of God to you (and it will), everything changes.

·         Stand before God in judgment every day. Every day. I don’t care what you may have done wrong. You stand before Him each day, and ask for His forgiveness for your transgressions (if you have any) and your walk with Him will change. You see, something in our past that causes too much shame to face Him becomes a barrier between us and God. Let those sources of shame pile up, and the result is complete estrangement from Him.

·         Stay focused on God. He is our ultimate destination. There’s an insurance commercial that touts “Life comes at you fast.” How true is that statement? Life does come at you fast, and it comes with hardships, headaches, and heartbreak. In dealing with life and its “junk” many of us take our eyes off of God. We kind of put Him on the back burner, for just a minute, while we work on our problems. Those minutes turn into days, or weeks, or perhaps even months, and when we look up, God is nowhere to be found. Seek Him every day.

·         Submit yourself to God and to His plan for you. I shared my thoughts with you on this subject a few weeks ago, so I won’t go there again. I’ll just say this: God’s plans for us are bigger than our dreams. Trust Him. He has the perfect plan for you.

·         Share what’s on your heart with others. This actually applies in two different areas:

I encourage you to share what God had done in your life with someone else. You may question why you should share the good news of God with others. You may think that what you have to share about God in your life doesn’t amount to much, but you have no idea as the number of people in the world that don’t know God at all, much less the provision, and comfort, and strength, and love, and wisdom (must I continue?) that He gives us every day. The question then becomes “How can you not share your knowledge of God and His goodness with others?”

Secondly, I encourage you to share the hurt that may be on your heart with a friend. There’s so much to gained, not only from “unloading” every once in a while, but also from the insights that you may receive from someone else. Many of us are more than mildly surprised to learn that we’re not the only ones with problems, but also that many of us have the very same problems.

There you have it; my six “S” nuggets. They’re all quite simple in nature, but I think that quite often in our quest to become better people, or perhaps I should say better Christians, we have a tendency to overlook the simple things. If you already knew ‘em, I thank you thank for taking the time to visit. If you received at least one nugget from this post, then it’s a blessing received by me.

I pray that you have an amazingly abundant week, filled with God’s grace and goodness!