The Seed of Hope

A God of Fear?

A God of Fear?

A few weeks ago I was giving my testimony for the Easter Sunday services at Church of the Highlands here in Birmingham. Three members from Highlands, including myself, had been invited to share our respective “God stories” with the church in a video that would be shown at all the services.

It was during my taping session that I became aware of the fact that for years (fifty-five of them if you’re counting), everything that I did in regards to my faith was, well, for the wrong reason.

Do you ever think about why you go to church? Or why you follow the Ten Commandments? Or why you ask God for His forgiveness?

In matters of faith, especially when it comes to your relationship with God, are you motivated by love for Him, or fear of Him?

Childhood

Without mentioning a specific denomination (I don’t know that it matters), I’ll tell you that I grew up in a Christian family. I went to church every Sunday because my parents did. And I prayed to God because my parents did. The same can be said about receiving communion, and fasting, and confessing my sins to God.

What I’m saying is that my faith in God was based on what I’d seen, or what I’d learned in religion class, or on what I’d been told to do. I think it was the last one, the things that I’d been told to do, that motivated me more than anything.

Why? Well, as is so often the case when we’re told to do something as kids, there’s that dreaded “or else” attached to it. Come on, as a child how many times did you hear “You better clean up your room, or else you’re gonna be punished.” Or maybe “If you don’t pull those grades up, you’re gonna be grounded.” And then there was the classic “You do that again, and you’re gonna get a whipping.” You get what I’m trying to say, don’t you? I knew that if I did some things, or if I didn’t do other things, something bad was gonna happen. To me! You can relate, can’t you?

Sadly, when it came to God, I felt the same way.

Look, I was told that I had to go to “confession” when I was five years old; to tell God that I was sorry for what I’d done wrong. I HAD to go. No options. Besides, if I didn’t, God would know that I wasn’t sorry for what I’d done wrong. I’d better get in there and confess my sins. Or I’d never go to heaven.

At the tender age of five, what could I have done that was so wrong that God wouldn’t let me go to heaven? Nothing. But at five, I didn’t know that!

All too quickly forgotten was the promise of Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. It had been replaced by If you don’t tell God that you’re sorry, you can’t go to heaven. Well, if the elevator ain’t going up, it must be going down!

The Fear of God seed had been planted.

That seed germinated, and became a plant. Well, I guess that it was more a weed than anything else. And like most weeds, its roots ran deep.

That fear of God? It stayed with me through my childhood, my teen years, and most of my adult life.

Okay, I have to admit something here. Don’t know why I feel compelled to admit it to you. It’s just another piece of baggage that I feel it’s time to put down…

I quit going to confession as soon as I was old enough and had the freedom to quit going to confession. Oh, I still asked God for His forgiveness, but in my own way, and in my own words. I just didn’t believe that I had to go through someone else to get to God…

So anyway, it was fear, and not love, that kept me in front of God. Those dad-gum “or else” threats were still haunting me.

I’d better go to church, or else…

I’d better not sin, or else…

I’d better pray to God about this, or else…

I’d better fast during Lent, or else…

How sad it was that for all those years, I was looking at God through the eyes of a fearful man, rather than through those of a son looking to his father. Even sadder was the fact that, by my example, my own sons were also taught about the God of Fear.

Can you imagine trying to have an intimate relationship with someone based on fear? Couldn’t be a very good one, could it? Wouldn’t think that it would last very long, would you? Neither would I.

I tried to have a relationship with God, not because of what He might give me, but because of what He might take from me if I didn’t go to church, or pray, or fast, or live a life free of sin. The foundations of my faith were built on fear. It’s just that simple. It’s just that wrong.

Look, I’m gonna remind you that I’m no theologian; I can’t refer to something that I learned in the seminary. I don’t know the Bible that well; quite often I can’t point you to a specific Chapter and Verse to support what I want to say.

In this particular instance, I can only tell you what I believe in my heart. And because I believe it in my heart, I can only believe that it is true:

Our God is a God of love. Oh, those that don’t walk with Him, and those who would oppose Him, should fear Him indeed, for He is all-powerful. While Satan is a worthy adversary for us mortals, he is nothing, and would stand no chance against God. Our omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, God. For all that He is, there is nothing that God wouldn’t do for us.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV

Our God is a God of love. The day that I made the decision to have a relationship with Him based on love rather than fear, an amazing thing happened. Replacing the fear of God in my mind with love for Him allowed my heart to open to receive the unfathomable, immeasurable, never-ceasing love that He has for me. Our God is an amazing God, and an incredible Father. He is a loving Father.

Our God is a God of love. If your relationship with God isn’t what you want it to be, you may want to question if your faith in Him is based on fear. If that’s the case, believe me: your relationship with Him will never be what it could be. You will never fully love Him, and you will never fully feel His love, until you change your way of thinking.

I want to close with one of my favorite verses from the Bible. Yeah, I said that I didn’t know the Bible that well. I didn’t say that I don’t know it at all…

However, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” 1 Corinthians 2:9

Doesn’t say the first thing about fear.

God is good.

The Letter

Satan,

You have been the topic of many posts since The Seed of Hope was launched in 2008. Oh, don’t get the wrong idea…I’m certainly no fan of yours. I’ve written about you, not because I like you, but because I detest you. It’s just that simple.

There’s so much that I want to say to you, so many things that I’ve wanted to tell you, but haven’t because of fear of what you may try to do me. No more. My faith in my Father is stronger than any feelings that I may have about you. It is on this day, Good Friday, the day that Jesus died for me, that I have decided to unload on you.

You see, you stand for everything that I’m not. I’ve spent the last couple of minutes searching even the darkest corners of my mind; those forbidden places where we like to hide the traits that we’re not very proud of. Things like hatred, greed, envy, lust, and prejudice. Gratefully, thankfully, my relationship with God has allowed me to distance myself from all of those tools that are in your arsenal of self-destructive weapons.

As best I can tell, the only thing that you and I have in common is that our names start with an “S”, and from where I’m standin’, even that is too much. I want to separate myself from you as far as I possibly can.

You’re like a bird of prey, only worse. When it comes to your victims, you have no favorites; all are subjected to being exposed to your evil ways. Your easiest victims are those who are weak. Children, teens, and adults are all fair game for you. You show favor only to those who are under your spell. The sad thing is that at some point in the lives of everyone, non-believers and believers alike, your evil seeds are planted.

I know that you have been hard at work this past week, the week leading up to Easter Sunday. You’ve done everything in your power to distract those that have their eyes on Jesus. More people attend church at Easter than at Christmas; people seeking the face of God, seeking to know Him. The prospects of people being saved cannot make you happy. Every soul that is born again into God’s family signifies yet another death in yours. You don’t like having your ranks thinned, do you?

I wonder; are your primary targets the easier ones? The weak? The hurt? The impoverished? The sick? Do you go after them first, or do you just save them for dessert? Do you take more pleasure in wreaking havoc in the lives of the everyday Christians, the ones that walk with God each day? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make one of them stray?

I know that you’ve picked on me; pounded on me, every day this week. You did everything in your power to make me lose my temper, or have doubts about the path that I’m traveling, or make me question if my efforts to make a difference in the world are, well, worth the effort. As is so often the case, you used others around me to turn my day upside down. On Wednesday your attacks were so frequent that I found myself not only turning to prayer throughout the day, but enlisting some of my friends to pray for me. Jackie and I practically ran to church on Wednesday night seeking the comfort of fellowship with other Christians praising God.

Well, here it is, Good Friday, and I’m still standin’, and smilin’ and praising God!

I wonder, Satan, if you were smiling when they nailed Jesus to the cross? Did you consider his crucifixion to be your greatest victory since you convinced Eve to take a bite of the apple?

Did you have any idea that Jesus’ death at the hands of man, the fruit of your evil work, would open the gates of heaven, making it possible for all to enter? Were you aware of the fact that if you had just left things alone, not one soul would have been able to receive God’s grace? I bet that you’re still having a hard time swallowing that one.

It’s been a long day. I’ll be back.

Easter Sunday

It’s Sunday morning, and I’m in between services at Church of the Highlands Greystone Campus, where I serve as leader of the Hospitality Team. It’s gonna be a long day. We’re holding five services today. Five! But that gives us five opportunities to reach new visitors that either don’t know God at all, or are seeking to know more about Him.

What an amazing day! We celebrate the Risen King!

On a personal note, this is a very humbling day for me. I am one of three members at Highlands that were chosen to share our testimonies about what God has done in our lives. A video capturing our thoughts is being shown at every service this weekend. I get to share what’s in my mind and on my heart about God…the love that I have for Jesus…with thousands of people. What an honor. What a blessing.

But you already knew that, didn’t you? That’s why you have been after me all week long. In fact, you’ve been wreaking havoc in my life since the video was shot two weeks ago. It’s been one thing, after another, after another. You have been relentless in your efforts.

But I knew that you were coming. I braced myself for your attempts to dim God’s light that shines in me. You wanted to rob me of the joy of serving God and His people. I prepared myself for you as best I could.

And you learned something about me, didn’t you? I too, am relentless. I’m gonna love God, and serve Him, and seek more of Him every day. You’re strong enough to knock me down from time to time, I’ll give you that. But He is gonna give me the strength to get back up again. Every time.

You see, your attempts to weaken me this week have only served to make me stronger. I am more dedicated to God now than I was seven days ago. Nothing that you use against me is greater than that what God has put in me.

Monday

I sit here this morning reflecting on my life with God in it. I am so humbled by His presence in me, and so thankful that I’ve come to know Jesus.

Yesterday was an amazing day for Jackie and me. We have grown so much since we made God a true part of our marriage. I believe that, in some strange way, both of us recognized that this weekend.

Something else happened this weekend that, well, kind of snuck up on me.

When I began writing this letter to you I was, well, I was mad as hell. At you. I mean, I was absolutely fed up with you and your scheming ways, and I was ready to tell you to go burn in hell. But then I realized that by doing so, I would have allowed you to win. You want me to have hatred in my heart don’t you? You want me to be so blinded by rage that I take my focus off of God.

Guess what? It’s not gonna happen.

Instead, I’m going to say “Thank You.”

Thank you for convincing Eve to take a bite of the apple.

Thank you for convincing man to crucify Jesus.

You see, without Eve, God wouldn’t have found it necessary to send His Son. And I might never have known what it’s like to walk with Jesus every day.

Without Christ dying on the cross, I could never have been saved.

That’s it for now. I’m sure that you’ll be in touch.

So will I.

Sam

The Last Prayer

The Last Prayer

At that time, I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks. I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over. Daniel 10:2-3

Daniel had been in a period of prayer and fasting for twenty-one days, waiting to receive a message from God concerning an upcoming war. Daniel’s faith never wavered. He knew that God would give him what he needed; he just didn’t know when. You see, many times before Daniel had asked God for insight and guidance, and God had always answered…

This past January I entered a period of prayer and fasting with others members of my church, Church of the Highlands, which is located here in Birmingham. Much like Daniel’s period of fasting, this one would last for twenty-one days. And following Daniel’s lead, my wife Jackie and I made a decision to follow his guidelines for fasting, which is appropriately called “The Daniel Fast.” No meats, sweets, bread, caffeine, soft drinks, or alcohol. For three weeks our diet would consist of vegetables, fruits, juice, and water. The reason behind the fasting was to raise our level of spirituality through the awareness that we were depriving our bodies of the “fuel” that they had grown accustomed to.

I’ll go ahead and tell you that it worked! For the first few days my body reminded my mind of everything that it was missing. And in turn, my mind screamed at me to feed my body!

It had been seven years since I’d quit smoking, a nasty habit that had plagued me for thirty years. The first couple of days of fasting reminded of the struggle that I’d gone through when I was battling nicotine withdrawals. My level of awareness was raised alright, and I didn’t like it one bit!

Frustrated, yet determined, I fought through that “little voice” in the back of my mind that was constantly screaming reminders of what my body was missing. You see, I remained steadfast in my fasting because I was after something….

Wisdom

A few weeks earlier, we had been advised by Pastor Chris Hodges that we should enter a fasting period with a specific intention, or “expectation”. In What I’m Asking God For, a post from January 18^th, I told you that I had entered the Twenty-One Days of Prayer seeking God’s Wisdom. My reasoning was that with a bit of His wisdom, which He promises to us for the asking, I could have more insight into solutions for many of the problems that I face each day.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:5-6

Well, as I believe that the Bible contains a record of God’s promises to us, and that God is faithful to those who love and serve Him, I entered Twenty-One Days with the absolute belief that God would grant me some of His wisdom.

Looking back now, I realize that God did indeed grace me with wisdom, and He continues to do so each day. But I also realize that there was something else that I was after…

A new level of prayer.

Since Jackie and I joined Church of the Highlands just over a year ago, I had been a part of Twenty-One Days of Prayer last summer, and had attended several organized prayers sessions on Wednesday and Saturday mornings throughout the year.

On each of those occasions I witnessed individuals in a deeper, more intense state of prayer than anything that I had ever experienced. I could look at them and see a connection with God that I longed for. I think that it wasn’t really what I saw on their faces, as much it was the feeling of a spiritual connection that emanated from each one of them. This may not make sense to you, but it was as if I could feel their spirituality as I walked by them.

As much as I hate to say this, I was envious of what they had! Oh, I didn’t want their spirituality. I just wanted to elevate my own through prayer, but I didn’t know how to do it.

So I prayed. And prayed. And prayed.

Every weekday morning, Monday through Friday, I would get out of bed at five o’clock to go to church for the prayer service, which began at six. On Saturdays the service began at nine o’clock, and on Sunday mornings I was in my prayer chair in our home at six before getting ready for church.

And every day I would seek God’s wisdom, and pray for the needs of others before praying for my own. And I would of course, pray to be lifted up to that new level of prayer. Every day.

Like I said, God did indeed grace me with His wisdom, or as much as this feeble mind of mine could absorb. And I witnessed God perform several “coincidences” (I like to call them miracles) in my life, and in the lives of others, during those twenty-one days.

But I never reached that level of prayer, that “connection” with God that I so desperately wanted. Heading into the last day, a Saturday, I believe that I had given up hope that it was gonna happen.

Oh, I was extremely grateful for the many blessings that I had received from God during those twenty-one days. Yet at the same time, I was really disappointed, not with God but with myself, that I hadn’t connected with Him in the way that I’d prayed for. I figured that there was something that I wasn’t doing right.

The twenty-first day’s service began with a message from Pastor Chris, which was followed by a worship song. After thirty minutes of private prayer and petitions, Pastor Chris once again took the stage to lead the hundreds in attendance in one, final fifteen minute session of corporate prayer…

I began following the Pastor’s call for prayer for our families, our church, our city, our state, our country. At times I found myself praying his prayers; at other times I offered my own. The faces of my family, of friends, and of those on my personal prayer list flashed through my mind as I called on God for His grace and mercy.

I remember Pastor Chris calling us into a more fervent state of prayer, urging us to “go after God” with all that was in us. The voices of those standing all around me grew louder and louder in prayer. Again came the call to pray even harder. I’d never prayed so hard in my life…

And then my world was silent.

The only voice that I heard was that of my own, praising God, thanking Him for His blessings, for His presence in my life…for His presence in me. Thanking Jesus for dying for me, for making my salvation possible. Thanking the Holy Spirit for all of His gifts, especially the heart and bravery of a Soldier of Christ. Thanking God for allowing me to feel…this. Time stood still. Time didn’t matter.

And then, it was like waking up from a dream. I realized that my cheeks were streaked with tears. That those around me were praying as loud as ever before. And that my knees were on fire. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw the source of the pain in my knees: I had been kneeling on the concrete floor in prayer for at least ten minutes!

I slowly got back up on my feet, joining the rest of those around me for the last few minutes of prayer, somewhat overwhelmed by what had just happened.

In the last fifteen minutes, of the last hour, of the twenty-first and last day of my prayer and fasting, God had allowed me to reach the level of spirituality that I had been so desperately seeking.

Never give up on God. Never give up on yourself. Always remember that as with Daniel, and as with me, that He may wait until the last minute of the last hour of the last day to “show up.” That He may be waiting for you to offer that one last prayer, the one that you offer just before you give up, the one that He plans on answering.

God is faithful.