The Seed of Hope

Did Jesus know?

Did Jesus know?

Early yesterday morning I was sitting in my “prayer chair” in our kitchen, reading a few passages from my Bible as a prelude to meditation and prayer, both of which I try to do every day. Ten minutes in, and I was still trying to get focused enough to do either of them. It seems that my mind was taking me down a different path; one that I really didn’t want to follow, because it was all negative…

A couple of months ago Joshua Canizaro, one of the Pastors at the Church of The Highlands here in Birmingham cautioned me that as our walk with God becomes stronger, and as we do more to serve Him, we get this invisible “target” on our backs. This target, of course, serves as an invitation to receive “…all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” Ephesians 6:15

Well, I’m gonna tell you, the last couple of weeks I’ve felt as if that target on my back had somehow morphed into a full body suit! We had some personnel issues and changes in our salon. We had recently agreed with our landlord to expand the salon at a time when, well, let’s just say that the timing could have been better. I had to have a discussion with a member of our family that I didn’t want to have. I had a couple of friends that were going through some trying times. I had…

What I’m trying to say is that life was dealing me a whole lot of crap all at the same time! You know what I’m talking, don’t you? Surely you’ve had those kinds of weeks before; it’s one thing, after another, after another! Perhaps you’re going through one of those periods right now. Just know that you’re not alone! The world didn’t single you out as its only victim.

You should also know this…

When life is dealing you fits is when Satan is working his hardest! When our attention is on our situation at work, or on our finances, or raising our children, or on a spat that we may have had with our spouse, Satan comes in to plant the seeds of doubt, anger, hatred, or any other negative and evil thoughts that are his trademarks!

And you should also know that God is gonna give you everything that you need to overcome every obstacle that life, and Satan deals you, if you will only ask Him for help.

And all those situations that I was facing the last couple of weeks? I prayed my way through them! “God give me strength. God give me patience. God give me wisdom, and understanding, and knowledge. God get me through this.”

Guess what? He got me through all of it…every trial, every tribulation, every doubt…all of it. That’s the good part. The bad part was that I had to go through it at all!

And that’s what I was thinking about yesterday morning…not just what we have to go through, but Satan’s role in it…his relentless attacks on us, not only when we’re working for God, but when we’re at our weakest.

Did HE know?

I started turning a couple of questions over and over in my mind. They were questions that I’d never considered before, and I had certainly had no idea as to the answers. When my wife Jackie joined me in the kitchen I posed the questions to her…

Do you think that, as a child, Jesus knew that he was the Messiah, the Son of God? I mean, did he know that he was the Word Incarnate? Was he born knowing this, or did it come to him as he got older?

Well, Jackie wasn’t really sure of the answers either. Sensing that I might pose this question to you today, she cautioned me that doing so may result in receiving more answers than I was prepared to handle! Besides, what difference did it really make if he knew or not?

By that time I was like a bloodhound on the scent of a criminal’s trail! Like Sherlock Holmes seeking a clue! Like Indiana Jones looking for the Ark of the Covenant! Did he know?

When I got to church, I posed my questions to Pastors Canizaro and Cory Hardesty. Both felt that Jesus knew early on that he had a calling to the Lord. As far as knowing, it is recorded in Luke that Jesus was twelve years old when he became separated from his parents for three days as they were returning from the Feast of the Passover. After frantically searching for him, they found him in the temple courts…

“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:49

Pryor to that time in history, God had never been referred to as Father. For Jesus to refer to God as his Father, he had to have known that he was indeed the Son!

You may be wondering why it was so important for me to know if Jesus knew?

Buckle up and hang on; this may get a little deep, because the answer to that question leads to more questions, for which I have no concrete answers.

If he knew, was he more prepared to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one?

We know that Satan tempted Jesus when was he was in the desert for forty days, and Jesus rebuked him. How about all the years that we don’t know about? I’m talking about the years when he was an adolescent…in his late teens…his early twenties. What do know we about those all-important formative years?

Jesus was God made flesh. He was not half man and half God, but fully God and fully man. And as a man, he experienced the same things that we do; i.e., trials, tribulations, anger, hurt, and ultimately, death.

Did being the Son of God isolate, or insulate, Jesus from the ways of the world?

Did Jesus have to contend with problems in his world relative to the problems that we deal with today? Financial stress? Moral corruption? Crumbling family values? Health care?

Knowing that Jesus was indeed the Son of God, did Satan attack or tempt Jesus even more than he would you or me? Or did he only go so far in his temptations, knowing that God could crush him like a bug?

Do you think that Jesus ever just got tired of it all?

Before you get even more upset with me for asking some of these questions, let me tell you what I think…

I believe that, in addition to saving us from the sin of Adam and Eve, Jesus was sent here so that he might experience everything that we experience. Yeah, he was the Word made Flesh, but he was also a man. And as a man, he felt everything that we feel.

When we go through a rough day, or week, or month, we do so with the anticipation, with the hope, that life will get better. As Christians, as followers, we believe that God will take care of us, that He will lift us up, that He will ease our burdens and heal our hurts.

Yeah, I believe that Jesus knew…I believe that he knew that his ultimate reward for being one of “us” for thirty-three years was a death marked by betrayal, humiliation, and unimaginable suffering. Yet he did it anyway. And I have to believe that he spent a lot less time grumbling walking his path than I do as I walk mine.

It has been said that the mark of a good leader is one who leads by example. That being said, perhaps Jesus was more than our Savior…perhaps he was the greatest leader that we have ever known. You see, in his birth, in his life, and in his death, he leads us to God.

He knew.

Apart from Him too...

I’m not really fond of continuing a message from the previous week, but there are a few “afterthoughts” from last week’s post that I simply can’t ignore. Some of what I want to share with you today came to me in the couple of days that followed my humble offering to you. Call it a “post-post self-discovery”, if you will. The rest of it came from reflecting on a handful of the comments that many of you graciously shared with me.

I have to tell you that my wife Jackie wasn’t in favor of last week’s message. As a matter of fact, I could sense that she was really opposed to it, but didn’t have the heart to come right out and tell me. You see, I’d wanted to write about my addiction several times before. And each time she had talked me out of it. Putting myself in her position, I could see how having your spouse openly declare a prior addiction to cocaine would be a bit embarrassing. But here’s the thing: Jackie wasn’t being protective of herself or her reputation. Quite the contrary…she was trying to protect my reputation! What would people think of me if they knew that cocaine was my constant companion during an eighteen month period over twenty years ago? Would they understand, or would they condemn me for it? Revealing some of my past might hinder my chances of doing, well, doing whatever it is that God put me here to do!

Tongue in cheek, I told Jackie that I wasn’t planning on running for President, that I certainly wasn’t going to be elected as the Pope, that being fifty-seven entitled me to share what’s on my mind, and in light of the fact that we’re self-employed, there was no chance of me getting fired!

Being the amazingly supportive wife that Jackie is, and knowing what I was thinking, she simply said, “If God put this on your heart to share it, who am I to tell you not to do it?”

I took a deep breath, offered a silent prayer, and then tapped the “Enter” key on my laptop, sending my post into cyberspace, for all to see.

One week later…

All of the comments and e-mails that I’ve received since last week’s post have been very supportive. Before I continue with what’s on my mind, I want to share some of what was on your minds…

“Thank you for sharing that powerful testimony. God is so good…praise Him for freeing you.”              Susie

“I love you Sam, for your willingness to share your vulnerabilities. It makes us willing to do the same because of your example. I know God will use this post in a mighty way!!!!”   Sharon

Wow! He who the Son hath set free is free indeed! Our God is an awesome God!”  Linda

“In the blink of an eye…I fully understand the power of His restoration and liberation. Amazing.”          Melanie

“…God can set us free from the burdens that capture our life. Amazingly, it’s as simple as asking. In the darkest hours, He can provide that flicker of light that we need so desperately. Why not ask?”   Jane

“Why are we amazed when God performs a miracle such as the one He gave to you? Our Creator God has the power to turn this whole world upside down and inside out!”   Donna

As always, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. Your feedback is the fuel that feeds the fire!

My thoughts…

What pleased me the most was that you recognized not what I did, but what God did for me…I’ve told you many, many times that God has performed miracle upon miracle in my life. This was yet another example of one of those miracles. In the offering of a simple prayer, and in the blink of an eye, God loosened the deadly grip of this powerful addiction on my life. How awesome indeed is our God!

Okay, I’ll admit that my admission of a cocaine addiction to you took a bit of courage…courage that was readily supplied to me by the Holy Spirit. If you will ask to receive the Holy Spirit each day, you will be amazed that the seemingly insurmountable challenges in your life get smaller and smaller.

I’ve shared the story of my addiction with several people before, and almost without fail, the reaction to my revelation has been the same: rather than look down on me, as one might expect, most admire me for overcoming my weakness and my courage for sharing my darkest secrets so openly.

There is a certain strength, or perhaps it’s a sense of relief, to be gained by sharing our problems with others. When we do, we often find that we’re not alone in what we’ve done…everyone has a “past”…has done things that they regret. Did I think that I was the only person in the world who had done cocaine or had been divorced? Of course not! It was just the guilt, or perhaps shame for what I’d done that got me more than anything. Of course, now I don’t have to worry about carrying those secrets around with me. I’ve shared them with you, and the world, so I don’t have to worry about anyone finding out about them! I’ve put that baggage down.

Sadly, I believe that many of us try to forget some of the things that we’ve done in the past, either from the need to hide our actions from others, or perhaps even worse, from ourselves. Here’s the thing: we never forget the bad stuff. Ever. Oh, we may wrap it up in a cocoon and store it away in the darkest corners of our minds, kidding ourselves, convincing ourselves, that whatever it was never happened. But the memory is always there, waiting for the right opportunity to haunt us again. And again. And again.

You know what? Satan loves this! I’m telling you that he does. You see, when we try to hide the past from ourselves, we never reach the point of forgiving ourselves for our mistakes. And that inability to forgive stands between us and God. If we can’t look into our own faces, how could we ever deem ourselves worthy enough to look into the face of God? How could we possibly hope to have a complete relationship with Him?

Jesus carried the cross, put Himself on it, and took those nails so that we would be forgiven for the sin that we come into this world with; the sin of Adam and Eve. He wiped the slate clean for us. Everything else, everything else…every sin, every evil thought, word, and deed, will be forgiven simply for the asking.

Well, if it’s as simple as asking, what stands in our way?

We do.

We are our own worst enemy. We trick ourselves into believing that we can never be forgiven for what we’ve done in the past, so we just try to forget that it ever happened.

Don’t try to forget what you’ve done in the past. Accept it! Lay claim to it. Own it. And then?

If you haven’t done so, ask God to forgive you. Then forgive yourself. Put it down, that “junk” that you’ve been carrying around for months, perhaps years. You were younger, more foolish, and not so wise. That was then…this is now…let go of the past.

Then run to God with the exuberance of a child rushing into his Daddy’s arms. Do you remember what that felt like? You can have that feeling again, if you can get past yourself.

God is waiting for you. What are you waiting for?

See you next week.

Apart from Him

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress.   Psalm 107:6

Yesterday marked the beginning of the third and final week of Twenty One Days of praying and fasting at Church of The Highlands here in Birmingham. The first two weeks have been an amazing period of spiritual growth, enlightenment, and strength. It has been a time for deep meditation and inner reflection, as I’ve looked for ways to become even closer to God with each passing day. It has also given me an opportunity to reflect on the past…

Prayer Requests

Each week at Highlands, members of the congregation are invited to fill out cards requesting prayers for their needs or the needs of others by the Prayer, or Intercessory Team at church. Having filled out a couple of the cards during the past year, I can tell you that I found a lot of comfort in knowing that I was not alone in my petitions to God. Looking back on it now, I realize that I drew a lot of strength as well from that knowing.

For the past two weeks, excluding Sundays, my days have begun with a one hour prayer service at the church. During this service, those in attendance are invited to offer prayers for other members of the church, using those very same prayer cards as a resource. After going down my personal list of people that I’m praying for, I turn my attention to the stacks of prayer cards at the front of the church.

There’s one thing about these prayer cards that absolutely amaze me: a great number of the cards I’ve read have been filled out by people seeking prayers, not for themselves, but for others. This is especially the case when it comes to addictions…alcohol…drugs…gambling.

I found myself wondering why the people with the addictions weren’t filling out these cards for themselves. Well, I think that the first and most obvious answer to that question would be that the addicts weren’t in church to fill them out. And you know, that is a very good answer…but it’s not always the right one. In pondering the question that I had posed, I found myself reflecting on my life twenty-three years ago, before Jackie and I were married…

Look, before I continue I have to explain something to you. I’m gettin’ ready to share a couple of things with you that I’m not really proud of, but I believe that there are times when I have to set my dignity to the side and tell you what’s on my heart. The primary purpose of this site is to share what God had done in my life; this includes the good and the bad stuff. I make no apologies for who I was, what I was, and what I’ve done in the past. What matters most to me is who I am, what I am, and what I do today. You can judge me as you will.

Twenty-three years ago, I was in the final year of a fifteen year marriage to my first wife. It was a very, very rough relationship, yet one that to this day I consider a blessing because of the birth of sons Brian and Christian.

I’m neither laying blame nor claiming blame for why the marriage didn’t work. Let’s just say that I don’t believe that it was one of those matches made in heaven. I think that sometimes many of us make a mistake in judgment when it comes to whom we should spend the rest of our lives with.

Through all of those trying years, I never asked God to get me out of the relationship. With my marriage, as with all the other trials and tribulations in my life, I merely asked Him to give me the strength to carry the crosses that I was given. And I prayed a lot.

A funny thing happened when I wasn’t looking.

I became addicted to cocaine.

I don’t know how it happened. I tried it once with some friends. Then I tried it again. And again. Soon it became a part of my life. It became the center of my life. I woke up, and headed for the coke. My day ended with the coke. And the hours in between? I don’t really have to answer that question for you, do I?

You see, cocaine became my escape from a world filled with arguments, and cursing, and verbal abuse. Cocaine filled the void in my life that had been created by the absence of hope for a better tomorrow. Yeah, I knew that I was probably killing myself, but it didn’t matter; I was dying on the inside a little bit more each day. What difference did it make?

And here’s the funny thing: during the time that I was hooked, about eighteen months, I was in church every Sunday! Yep, and I was asking God to help me carry those crosses, which were my marriage, and my career, and trying to be a good father to my sons. I never even asked Him for help with my addiction to the cocaine. I figured that I could handle it by myself. Get this: I didn’t want to draw His attention to the fact that I had an addiction! I was too proud to admit to myself, and to God, that cocaine had become the ruler and master in my life.

What’s worse was the fact that I didn’t believe that He was gonna answer my prayers.

I’m gonna cut this a little short because, well because I’m not real comfortable talking about it. Let’s just say that my marriage came to an end, and one night shortly thereafter, I went to sleep in prayer, begging God to heal me of my addiction.

I asked. He answered. I woke up the next morning, free of the need for cocaine. That was over twenty-one years ago. Yes, I believe in miracles. Yes, I believe that in the blink of an eye, He can free us from any and all chains that bind us.

Why?

Why do so many of us try to disconnect from God with some of the issues that we have in life? I’m not talking exclusively about addictions. I’m talking about relationships, fears, doubts…I’m talking about life.

How can we go to church, and worship God, yet think that we have to walk without Him? How can we include Him in certain areas in our lives, yet shut Him out of others? How can we possibly believe that we can handle anything in our lives better than He can? How can we see Him, yet be so totally blind to His presence? How can we possibly think that we can do anything apart from Him?

I urge you to read Psalm 107 in its entirety.

God can lift us up from every circumstance. He can free us from any chains, cure us from any illness, and guide us through the darkness.

Welcome His presence in your life. Ask for His presence. Ask for His help, in every walk of life. He will help you. Why?

Because God’s love for us is unfailing.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good: his love endures forever. Psalm 107:1

See you next week.