The Seed of Hope

The First Time

A couple of months ago, Jackie and I joined The Church of The Highlands, here in Birmingham. Highlands (for short) was the fastest growing church in the country in 2008. There is one main campus and three satellite churches, with membership totaling in the neighborhood of 12,000 people! Staggering numbers, I know. Your first thought, as was mine, may have been that with so many people, the sense of church community and fellowship would be almost nonexistent.

Nothing could be farther from the truth! You see, within those 12,000 people are over 800 small groups devoted to developing a deeper relationship in Christ through fellowship with, you guessed it, other Christians!

Never having participated in a church group, much less having hosted one, Jackie and I decided nonetheless to do exactly that this summer. Actually, it was my idea, and my dear wife graciously agreed to my notion of “diving right in” at Highlands.

For the summer session, the church was making it easy for us novices; each week’s topic for small group discussion would be based on that Sunday’s message. I figured, “How wrong could we go? The church sets the topic of the day. They give us a DVD for our group to watch along with a few suggested questions to spark conversation. Cue the DVD. Discuss it. Share ideas. What do we have to lose?”

On Tuesday, June 9^th we sped home after work to prepare for our first small group meeting at 6:30. Though neither of us would admit it, Jackie and I were both a bit nervous. We were relatively new to the church, didn’t know that many people, didn’t know what we were doing, and didn’t know if anyone would show up!

That first night we there were eight of us, and it proved to be an amazing evening of sharing thoughts about friends, life, and of course, God. We’ve had three meetings since that first night, and attendance has ranged from a low of four to a high of ten. Small groups has been an unbelievable experience…

That first week’s focus was on friends, and the role that they can play in our lives. This topic really laid the groundwork for sharing in our small group, and by the end of our gathering an hour and a half later, I already felt a bond with every person in the room. I’d like to go into more detail about the evening, but I’ll save it for a later date. I want to move on to week two, which is actually the focus of this week’s post.

Being BOLD

Week two was all about the need for us to be bold in our faith, as in sharing the news of God’s goodness and His Word with others. As you may have already guessed, this is one of my favorite topics!

There’s something that I offered to our group that night, and I want to do the same with you right now…

Sharing my faith and talking openly about God was really hard for me to do at first. I was afraid of what people would think of me, how they would react to me. I mean, how do you start a conversation about God with someone that you don’t know without sounding like a “Jesus Freak?” (Well, I am a freak for Jesus, but that’s beside the point!) I think that for some of us, even the idea of talking openly to a friend about Jesus wouldn’t be so easy to do.

I remember the first time that I shared my belief in God with someone; the first time that I gave “witness” to His goodness…

In January of 2005 Jackie and I joined a new health and wellness facility that had opened near our home. It was there that I met a young lady (I’ll call her Lauren) who was employed as a fitness counselor. Lauren was actually one of the first staff members that I met. Her outlook was always so positive and encouraging that she would make me forget about the pain I was in when I’d finished my workout! Oh, and did I mention that she always wore a smile that would light up any room? We became fast friends, and I always looked forward to seeing her two or three times a week.

Over the course of the next few months, I sensed that something was wrong with Lauren. That ever-present smile wasn’t always present, and she just didn’t exude that warmth that I had grown accustomed to.

One evening, at the risk of being too personal, I asked Lauren if she was okay, or if there was anything that I could help her with. Fighting back tears, she told me that she was going through a divorce, and she was really having a rough time. She wasn’t worried so much for herself as she was for the mental state of her two young sons. Having gone through a divorce when my sons were twelve and nine, I could identify with her concerns. As she was sharing her situation with me, confiding in me, my heart was breaking for her and I desperately searched for something, anything that would ease her mind.

I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m no psychologist, counselor, or authority on handling personal problems. In fact, I remember feeling uneasy that day as she was confiding in me, looking to me for help…but not for the reasons that you might think. I was humbled that this young lady would turn to me for guidance, and I was disappointed in myself that I didn’t have anything beyond “I’m sorry.” to offer in return for her trust.

“Say something…anything!”…

…the “inner me” was screaming…at me!

I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn’t have the guts to say it. Putting aside my conventional ways of thinking, I looked directly in Lauren’s eyes and asked, “Do you believe in God?” Her response was short and to the point: “Yes, why?”

For the next few minutes Lauren and I were engaged in a deep conversation about God. Well, I was doing the talking, and she was doing the listening. And I have to be truthful with you; for the first few minutes I told Lauren what I thought she needed to hear.

          Ask God to help you, and He will… God will give you strength… He will take care of you and your boys…God is so good; He will help you get through all of this…His love for us is unending…He is the Ultimate Father

Then I began giving Lauren a condensed version of my adult life, recalling the highs and lows of the previous three decades. And as I recounted all of the rough spots, the tough times in my life, something amazing happened.

How can I best explain this to you?

I said that at first I told Lauren what she needed to hear…all those things about God. What I didn’t tell you was that I really didn’t feel what I said about God; I was conveying things to her that had been told to me by others, like my Dad and Mom. I don’t know that I really believed what I was saying…

As I shared some of my darker hours with Lauren, I began to realize that God had been right there with me through them all…holding me up, giving me strength, filling me with enough of Him to survive. He had been, for my entire life, all that I had described to Lauren, and more. And until that particular moment in time, I had never really known it…and I had never thanked Him. Later that night I was on my knees doing exactly that.

For the next several weeks I would check on Lauren’s progress whenever I saw her. We talked about God all the time. Lauren would go on to enroll for a class that would prepare her to join the Catholic Church, which she eventually did. The last time I saw Lauren she told me that she was working at one of the Catholic schools here in Birmingham, and was blissfully happy with her new life and her relationship with God. Her boys were doing “great.” And that smile? It was back, and more beautiful than ever!

All of this happened during the first six months of 2005.

Coincidentally…

Aw, come on…you should know by now that I don’t believe in coincidences!

In August of 2005, just a couple of months after I “got it” about God, and perhaps more importantly, spoke openly about His goodness, I awoke one morning determined to change the path of my life. (See A Seed Was Planted page) Fear had been replaced by courage, indecision had been replaced by confidence, and doubt had been replaced by faith.

God smiled on me. My life has never been the same.

Be BOLD in sharing all that God had done for you and what He has been for you. Don’t think that He’s been there with you? Take a closer look; you may be surprised at what you see.

See you next Monday.

sam@theseedofhope.com

When God Sends a Message

We are often urged to be still during prayer and reflection, to listen for God’s voice or to receive His direction for where we are to go, what we are to do.

Be still. Listen. Be patient.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I have a hard time being still, listening, and certainly being patient! I’m so busy trying to “help God” with a certain situation or circumstance that I don’t give Him the chance to help me at all. And quite often He will send a more than subtle message to get my attention.

I want to tell you about two of those not-so-subtle messages from God. While neither of them was sent directly to me, I was blessed in that I was a witness to both, and even more so in that I was involved in them too.

Jackie’s Messenger

My mother-in-law Carolyn has been having some health issues during the past couple of months. She’s been suffering from mini-seizures, which leave her disoriented, lethargic, and pretty much incapable of taking care of herself. Carolyn has been hospitalized several times, and in between those visits there have been several nights when my wife Jackie or her brothers Preston and Richard have had to spend the night in her home to safeguard her well-being. To make matters worse, it appears that Carolyn is suffering from the early stages of dementia. 

This entire situation has taken a tremendous toll on Jackie’s state of mind. I believe that for a while Jackie felt that if she found the right doctor, or asked the right questions, or demanded enough tests, or gave enough effort, that Carolyn would be well. Jackie was going to will her mom into good health. It was so frustrating for me, watching Jackie’s mental health deteriorate, that all I could do was pray for Carolyn’s health to improve, and pray for God to help Jackie.

He sent Jackie a message…

Jackie and I were attending a Wednesday night service at The Church of The Highlands a couple of weeks ago. During this service there was an Altar call for prayer, and the Pastoral and Prayers teams took various positions around the auditorium. Those in attendance with a special need or problem that they may be dealing with were encouraged to step forward so that a prayer may be said specifically for them, or “over” them.

I tilted my head towards Jackie’s and in a hushed voice whispered “Why don’t you go up there and have one of the Pastors say a prayer for you and your mom? Perhaps they can ask God to give you some peace.”

Jackie remained where she was, singing with the congregation and fighting back tears. I offered a prayer that God give some comfort, strength, and peace to Jackie.

A young couple that had been directly in front of us abruptly left the service, leaving the seats directly in front of Jackie and I unoccupied. Within 30 seconds of their departure, a lady with blonde hair, perhaps in her late 50’s, walked up from behind us, stepped into the space that had been occupied by the young couple, turned to Jackie, got right up in her face, and said “I’m sorry… I know that we don’t know each other, but I have it in on my heart to give you a message. God is so powerful. There is no problem that you have that is too big for Him to handle. Let Him help you with whatever it is that you have. Give it to Him.”

She and Jackie shared a heartfelt hug, and with that, this beautiful lady turned and walked away, disappearing into the congregation. Needless to say, Jackie, myself, and Haley, a young lady that works with us in our salon, were in tears.

Jackie and I were still in a state of shock driving home that night after the service. Still trying to regain her composure, and through tear-filled eyes, Jackie turned to me and said “I still can’t believe that she came up to me…out of nowhere.” I thought about Jackie’s statement, then looked at her and replied “I’ve been trying to tell you the same thing for weeks now, to no avail. And you know what? If you had taken my advice and had one of the Pastors pray over you, it still wouldn’t have impacted you as much as that lady talking to you. God put that lady in church tonight to give you a message. And it was directly from Him.”

Jackie’s attitude, outlook, and spirit have been so much better since that night. She has more peace in her heart.  And her faith in God has reached a new level.

Haley’s message

The very next morning Haley and I were sitting in the back of the salon recounting what we had witnessed in church!

The conversation turned to a problem that Haley had been dealing with for several months. I won’t go into details…I’ll simply say that it involves the well-being of Haley’s stepchildren, and it had really been weighing heavily on her heart and her mind. Much like Jackie, Haley had been consumed with worry.

Trying to offer some counsel and comfort to Haley, I told her to recall God’s message to Jackie the night before. Haley looked at me and confided “I know that everything is in God’s plan. And I know that everything comes in His time, not ours. And I know that He will do what’s best for the kids. But it’s so hard not to worry. It’s so hard to do this.”

I sat there for a moment, wondering what I could say to Haley to ease her burden, feeling almost helpless; asking God to give me some words for her… as gently as I could, I offered this advice…

“Haley, you know all the right things to say, about God’s plan, His time, and His knowledge. These are all things that you’ve been taught about God, or read about God. You know these words in your head, but the problem is that you don’t feel them in your heart. You believe, in your heart, that your worry is stronger than God’s will. But I ask you, is there anything that you can do better than God? I’ll answer the question for you: Of course not. And here’s something else that I want you to work on…you keep saying that it’s so hard to turn it over to God. What you’re doing is telling your subconscious that you aren’t going to be able to totally let Him have this problem. This is what I want you to say for the rest of this day, whenever doubt creeps into your mind:”

God, it’s going to be so easy for me to give this problem to You, because I know that You don’t want me to have it. I’m going to give it to You because You know what’s best, and I trust You completely. I’m going to give it to You, and it’s going to be easy to do it, because I know that You want to take this burden off of me. It’s just going to be so easy for me to give this to You, to put my trust and my faith in You and Your will.”

And then I did something that I have never done before: I said a prayer over Haley. Oh, I’ve said prayers for people…I do it all the time. But I’ve never said a prayer aloud for a person while in their presence. Prayer had always been a private thing for me, until that moment.

I took Haley’s hand in mine and offered a prayer for Haley, her husband Jamie, and of course, their children. To be honest with you, I was so deep into prayer that I can’t recall exactly what I said, but I know that it came from my heart, and I know that it felt good.

For the remainder of the day, every time I walked past Haley I reminded her that it was going to be so easy for her to “give it to God.”

The next day I walked into the salon after running a few errands and saw Haley standing at the back door, in deep conversation on her cell phone, wearing a huge smile on her face. I gave her a questioning look, as if to say “What’s up?” Never missing a beat, and wearing that beautiful smile, she looked at me and said “I don’t believe it. We just found the witness that we’ve been trying to locate for six months! It’s an answer to our prayers.”

I believe that God had sent a message to Haley through me, His humble servant: Sometimes you just have to put it in His hands, no matter how high the stakes, no matter how hard it is to do so. Make no mistake about it; what I deem to be important here is the message, not the messenger. I am honored that God would use me in any way, for any purpose.

I believe that God sent a message to me as well. In two consecutive instances I had offered sincere, heartfelt prayers, not for myself, but for others. In both cases God had, in His own way, answered those prayers almost immediately. So I’m thinking that perhaps prayers we offer for others are in some way more powerful than those we offer for ourselves…

Holding onto that thought, I ask that the next time you’re in prayer, would you say one for me, that I may continue to be a soldier of Christ, spreading His Word, never passing up an opportunity to be a witness for Him, trusting in Him and loving Him completely, and always walking towards His light?

Surely you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. You will pray to Him, and He will hear you, and you will fulfill your vows. What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways.      Job 22:26-28 (NIV)

See you next Monday.

sam@theseedofhope.com

Passion

Some of the more important discoveries I've had about myself and my life have occurred while sharing my thoughts on this site. As I reach for words to describe an experience or a feeling, I often uncover a realization about myself that I wasn’t aware of. And every time I have one of those moments, I sit here almost dumbfounded that I have “found” another facet of myself!

I’ve had other epiphanies while having a conversation with others, either in answering a question or in sharing my faith. I had one of those just a few days ago…

Earlier this week I got a call from our youngest son Christian, asking if I had time for a cup of coffee and some conversation. I figured that something was up, because he and I haven’t sat down to have a “conversation” since his marriage to his wife Amber seven years ago. We agreed to meet early the next day at Starbuck’s. I wasn’t wrong; something was up.

Why?

Christian and I talked about a lot of things that morning, but one topic sticks out in my mind, because it lead to one of those moments of discovery for me…

In so many words Christian was wondering why I had pretty much dropped off the radar screen, in the sense of my being around as a father, and more importantly, as a grandfather. Actually, he was fairly upset about it, and I guess rightly so. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that my commitments to work, church, and The Seed of Hope have stripped me of a lot of family time. Well, I guess that Christian had just had enough, and he wanted to let me know it!

As Christian began to speak, I realized that he was calling me on the carpet, “dressing me down”, as they say. And you know what? I respected him for doing it…I did the same thing to my Dad several years ago, and I know how hard it was for him to get everything off his chest. It’s not an easy thing for a son to tell his father what he needs to hear, and Christian was doing exactly that.

What could be more important than my family?

In answering this question I have to take a moment to talk about a word found in the dictionary: passion. No, I’m not gonna give you the textbook definition; I’m gonna give you my definitions of the word as I knew it in various stages of my life. First as a child, then as a young adult, and finally, what I perceive passion to be at the age of fifty-six.

As a child “passion” meant something that was reserved for grown-ups. I knew that it had something to do with sex, which was something that I wasn’t supposed to know about, because if it was about sex, it was dirty!

In my late teens I went through the “rite of passage” involving sex, and while I knew that I wasn’t truly an adult, I quickly developed a passion for passion, so I figured that I was old enough!

From where I’m looking right now, I consider passion to be a driving force in one’s life that is an all-consuming, never-waning, ever-present, almost blinding desire that has NOTHING to do with sex.

I’m not talking about something that you “like to do”, or enjoy when you have the time. I’m talking about something that is with you every waking moment, or at least it seems to be. It is something that you would put aside everything else for. Do you have one of those? Are you filled with passion for doing something?

So?

So in answering Christian’s question I came to realize that God is my passion in life. I live to serve Him. I live to love Him. His presence consumes me. I seek to spread His name and the news of His goodness, without hesitation, reservation, or fear. While I know that I will never fully understand Him, that doesn’t keep my simple mind from wanting to know more about Him. I offer each day of my life to Him. God is first. All else, all else is second.

Funny thing is, I already knew that God was my passion. I knew it! There’s just something about making an affirmation of a belief to someone else that, I don’t know, makes it official. As I was talking, Christian heard what I was saying, I heard what I was saying, and God heard what I was saying. And as of this very moment, you have heard it too.

Passion

I have to add something else about my passion, something that just occurred to me. And on this point, I can only speak for myself; I’ve never spoken to anyone about his or her particular passion in life in this regard: “Is your passion something that you asked for or sought after?”

I didn’t ask for this passion, this all-consuming love for God. As a matter of fact, for the longest time, I tried to deny it. I mean, in many circles, being “all about God” ain’t cool, and talking openly about Him in public places, or even amongst friends, has certainly earned me my share of stares. Doesn’t matter. The absolute joy I experience in my relationship with Christ, in walking with Him each day, makes it all worth it. Besides, I've learned that there's no denying passion when you have it.

If you’ve read our business “story” you know that I didn’t grow up with aspirations of being co-owner of a hair salon. Well, I’ll let you in on a secret: I also didn’t grow up with my sights set on evangelism…yet here I am, contemplating taking part in a four-semester ministry program. Go figure…

About God…

Some thoughts about God…He wants us to be passionate about Him! God wants each of us to live in abundance, to be fulfilled in our “journey”, and to receive His many blessings along the way. He wants a true relationship with each one of us, a relationship more satisfying than any we could dream of having. But here’s the thing, the “qualifier”, the condition, if you will, to that relationship: we have to come to Him. He’s waiting there with open arms for us, but we have to run to Him.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  Deuteronomy 6:5 (NIV)

Love Him with a passion.

See you next Monday.

sam@theseedofhope.com