Away from the darkness...

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Even as I was working on last Monday’s post about coincidences I was formulating ideas for this week’s topic. And I have to tell you, I was really excited about it! It was going to be about a men’s retreat, given by one of our local churches, that I attended a couple of weeks ago.

My intention was to share some of my retreat “experience” with you, and perhaps more importantly, tell you how I have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit with me since that weekend. I thought, “This is Holy Week. With all the focus in the Bible on Christ’s promise of the Holy Spirit during His last days, what better time to share the amazing amount of comfort, strength, and empowerment that I have been blessed with during the past two weeks.”

One of my favorite sayings is that “Life often gets in the way of our best intentions.” Think about that one for a minute……How many times have you meant to do something, like going to see a friend that is sick, or sitting down to write a thank you note? How about something that would improve the quality of your own life, like going to the gym, or sticking to that diet, or going to church regularly? You really meant to do those things, didn’t you? It may have been your intention to do those things, but for some reason or another, they never got done. And look, I’m not throwing stones at you; I’ve been guilty of all of the above at some time. Like I said, sometimes life just gets in the way….

From gladness to gloom.

This week, my week, which began with so much promise, so much joy, so much passion for God, and so much gratefulness for Jackie and for my family and my friends and my business and who I am and my purpose in life, and EVERYTHING turned out to be one of the most difficult weeks that I’ve had in a long time.

Every time I sat down to work on this post there was a distraction. There were computer problems in the salon, and a seemingly endless stream of people that work for us with some gripe to tell me about. Time management, usually one of my assets, mysteriously disappeared. I received some amazing, humbling, inspiring e-mails and couldn’t find time to respond to them, which made matters worse. I lost my temper at a team meeting. I lost my temper at home; Jackie and I got into a couple of disagreements over nothing. Life was everything but normal.

What made matters worse is that I was aware that I was in a funk, a downward spiral, a deep hole….during those moments when I was losing my temper, I was aware of it. I knew that I was overreacting to situations, taking things personally, and showing my derriere. I was aware of what I was doing, knew that I shouldn’t be doing it, but did it anyway. I seemingly had no control over my actions.

I think that this is a perfect time to tell you about one of my morning rituals.

Each day I get up at least 30 minutes before Jackie and head to my sanctuary, our kitchen. I take a seat in my favorite chair, my “prayer chair”, and spend those 30 minutes in prayer and reflection. I’ve followed this routine, sat in my prayer chair, since November of 2006. I’d like to spend more time talking about my chair, but I believe that it deserves a post of its own, so for now I’ll simply say that I found my salvation sitting in this chair! (I’m sitting in it at this very moment.) But this week, not even time in my prayer chair was able to turn things around for me.

Last night I lay in bed reflecting on the past few days, and came to the startling realization that I, Sam Maniscalco, Mr. Awesome Everyday, soldier of Christ, messenger of God, was without that which I try to convey to you through this site: Hope. I drifted off to sleep in prayer, asking God to help me find me.

HE answered….

As soon as I woke up this morning, before I even had time to thank God for giving me another day, I knew what had been wrong with me this week. Before I give you the answer, I’ll ask you to step outside the box of conventional ways of thinking for a minute…

In Life’s Energy, a post dated February 23^rd, I offered my belief that the closer we get to doing God’s work and to doing His will, the more Satan does to stop us dead in our tracks. I believe that witnessing to others about God and His goodness makes Satan, well, it makes him mad as hell. Be it through the bible, or church, or pastors, priests, preachers, ministers, deacons, and just plain folks like me…..every time a person takes a step towards the light of God he is taking a step away from the darkness. You think that sits well with Satan? Do you think that he is gonna sit there and watch me or anyone else try to thin his ranks? Do I have to answer either of those questions for you?

Satan came after me this week. During what it is the most important time of the year for me, as a Christian….during a time when my eyes should have been fixed firmly upon Christ on the Cross…..when I have been filled by the Holy Spirit, more ready than ever to proclaim the wonders of Christ and the miracles He has worked in my life…..when I had numerous opportunities daily to let His light shine through me, to be His soldier….I was distracted by Satan. He came after me this week, and he took me off course. But it was short lived.

Okay, this is the part where you’re going to think that I’ve lost it, but like I’ve said before, I’m not here to win a popularity contest; I just tell you what is in my heart and mind, what I believe to be true…..

This morning, I was so aware of Satan’s presence that I said a quick prayer asking God to protect Jackie and me from evil, then got out of bed, went straight to the bathroom, and spit the taste of the devil out of my mouth. Then I got back in the bed and continued with my gratitude list.

You can laugh or shake your head in disbelief if you want to; I probably would’ve done either or both a few years ago. But I’ll tell you this: almost immediately, I could feel that calmness and peace that I’ve become accustomed to replace the feelings of anxiety and darkness that have been with me this week.

Today has been an awesome day. Jackie has been in her sanctuary, our back yard, doing what she enjoys the most; landscaping. I have been doing one of the things that I enjoy most, which is writing for The Seed of Hope. We’ll go out to dinner tonight, and then return home to watch a movie, which just happens to be Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. We’ve had the DVD since it was released, but for some reason have never watched it. Actually, I know the reason….I wasn’t supposed to watch this movie until my eyes and heart were ready to truly see and feel what Christ endured for you and me.

We’ll go to church tomorrow morning celebrating the glory of the Risen Christ!

Have a Blessed and Joyful Easter!

Contact me: sam@theseedofhope.com