The Sins of The Past

The Sins of the Past…

There are those times when I sit in front of this laptop and know exactly what I’m going to say. The words and thoughts come quite easily, and my fingers move as quickly as my “hunt and peck” method of typing will allow me to go. I’ll attack the topic of the day with fervor, wanting to share everything that’s racing through my mind with you.

Then there are those rare occasions when I feel compelled to write about a subject that makes me a bit uncomfortable. I’m having one of those moments right now. I don’t know if the discomfort comes from the topic itself, or the fact that I’m writing about something that I’m not really sure of. Either way, I feel that God put this on my heart for a reason. Perhaps, as is so often the case, there is something for me to learn, something for me to “discover”, as this particular post unfolds…

As the title of this post suggests, today I want to talk about our sins of the past. Yeah, I said our sins. No offense intended, but we’ve all broken at least one of God’s Ten Commandments, haven’t we? Tell you what…for now, I’ll just focus on my sins of the past.

Atone & Atonement

The word “atone” carries a lot of weight. It’s a verb meaning to reconcile, or to make amends for an action. “Atonement”, the noun, means reconciliation, or reparation for an offense or an injury.

The greatest example of atonement is the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. His crucifixion served as reparation for the sins of Adam and Eve against God. He paid an unbelievable price so that we may live in God’s grace.

I’m, sorry, but this is not going where I want it to go.

A good friend of mind accused me of be “outrageously, fearlessly, bold” in my faith. Perhaps that’s what I need to be right now…

You see, what I want to talk about is not just the sins of the past, but the price that we may pay for those sins. And I’ll be honest with you; I’m not really comfortable sitting here typing about even the notion that we may have to pay a price for our sins; it goes against the grain of what I believe and feel about God.

It’s just that several people have reached out to me in the past few weeks, wondering why God is allowing things to happen in their lives, wondering if they’re doing something wrong, or if they’ve done something wrong in the past. And I’ll tell you; their questions, coupled with my inability to answer those questions, prompted me to look back at the first fifty-three years of my life, and wonder the same thing. Was my first marriage, which was a really difficult period in my life, the result of what I had done in the past? Were the next sixteen years of misery that I spent in a business that I couldn’t stand a “punishment” for divorcing my first wife? Were the feelings of insecurity, unworthiness, and failure that plagued me for so many years God’s way of slapping me on the wrist?  

Look, I can run down the list of the Ten Commandments, God’s guidelines for us, and know that I’ve broken a lot of them in my lifetime. No, I’m not gonna go into details about them with you. I’m just telling you that I’m no saint, and that I never have been. I’ve sinned against God. And each time I’ve asked Him for forgiveness.

But is it that enough?

Is it enough just to say “I’m sorry.”? I believe that God is all-forgiving; if I didn’t believe it, I wouldn’t say it to you all the time. But is being sorry enough?

I remember when my sons Brian and Christian were kids. Most times I sensed that they were truly sorry for what they’d done. And every time, I still loved them, regardless of what they’d done. Still there were those times when they did something wrong, something really wrong, and they’d get a spanking, or have to stand with their noses in a corner of a room, or get their mouths washed out with soap. It didn’t mean that I loved them any less. I just wanted them to be accountable for their actions. And I wanted them to remember the lesson that I was trying to teach them.

To hear either of them say “Dad, I’m so sorry. I promise that I won’t do it again.” was good, but sometimes it wasn’t enough. They had to learn a lesson; they had to pay for what they’d done, because I couldn’t be sure if they were really remorseful.

GOD knows.

Okay, this is yet another instance of not knowing exactly where I’m going with this; bear with me…

Some of us are afraid to stand before God…to admit that we’ve done wrong (like He doesn’t know it!), to even acknowledge that we’ve done something wrong. This defiance, or perhaps in some cases it is fear, stands between us and most any kind of relationship with God.

Others of us will lay claim to our transgressions against Him out fear of what He will do to us if we don’t say that we’re sorry. While this is better than the first group, it still serves as a hindrance to a true relationship with God.

It’s when we can stand before God, being completely open, accountable, and filled with remorse for what we’ve done, that we can ask for and receive His forgiveness…that we may receive His grace.

When I’ve done something to offend God, I’m filled with remorse. And shame. And hurt. I hurt because I’ve hurt Him.

And unlike the times when I was unsure if my son’s were truly sorry for what they’d done, God always knows when my pleas for forgiveness are sincere. And He forgives me; with no strings attached.

So if we’re not paying for our sins of the past, why do we have to deal with the “bad stuff” in our lives?

God never gives us anything that is bad. He may give us tests in life, challenges in life, which may be perceived by us as being bad, especially when we’re going through them. But He gives each one of these tests to us for a reason…

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-5

Here’s the thing: we don’t know why God gives us what He does in life, and we will never know. He has a plan for us, for each one of us, and those plans are more intricate and detailed than any we could ever make for ourselves.

Every day, we are molded and shaped by Him as we follow the path that He’s laid out for us. When we realize this; when we accept His will, His guidance, and His tests, life becomes so much easier for us. Notice that I didn’t say “easy.” Quite often following God and being a Christian is anything but easy.

You want an example of this? When you have a few moments, I invite you to read the book of Job. Job had everything… wife, family, wealth. It seemed that Job had certainly found God’s favor.

In the blink of an eye, Job lost everything. Everything. Satan took everything that Job had, and God was watching! Yet Job never took his eyes off of God. He never wavered in his faith. He never doubted God’s plan for him.

In the blink of an eye, Job gained everything.

Oh, that we all may be blessed with the patience of Job…